
`Now what the hell are you waiting for?!` --(excerpt line form Numb/Encore song by LP and Jay-Z..) i'm confused since yesterday... i didn't know what i was doing and thinking... it's like i was possessed or something.. helL.... `i've become so numb....` i hate myself for doing that farfetched thing or saying those things yesterday,.. i'll just hurt a very important person in my life.. it's like i'll do the thing i never wanted to happen to him..... . . . i hate it.. i want to turn back time and change it. . . 21.. i don't know.... i'm confused and out of touch. . . . . i numb.. my body and mind are so numb..... what the helL was i thinking!?!? i want to clear this mess to him or worst.. stop this insensible thing... but it's like helL just thinking about it.. hurting him...
it's so much to take. . . . but i'm hurting myself too.. what am i to do....
i better do something soon or it'll be a lot worse.. hate this life. . . .
``
Tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
don't know what you're expecting of me
pushed under the pressure of walking in your shoes
every step that i make is another mistake to you
and every second i waste is more than i can take..
i've become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.....
``

I like________
Food: chocolates, cakes...
Drinks: water.. juice or any other drinks
Pastimes: drawing, writing poems, watching tv, listening to music, surfing the net, playing RPGs...
People: BMAP, classmates and some other people...
I Hate_________
Food: i like all of them..
Music's Playing_____
Artist: Fall out boy
Song: This ain't a scene, it's an arms race
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January 2005
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|Multiply bLog|
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|tHe tEnei sTaR's rEfuge|
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|Ayu Happy?|
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